Something witchy this way comes…

Or: How women fuck with man’s plans.

Photo by Marko Blažević on Unsplash

I’ve read and enjoyed a few historical fiction books on witch trials recently (recommendations at the end of this post if you’re after a cosy autumnal read…) and I’ve found that, despite the historical backdrop, there’s a lot that many of us modern day women can relate to.

Sure, we’re not being burned at the stake or drowned in a lake, but I reckon a few P45s and NDAs have been handed out for similar reasons in recent times…the main one being that the patriarchy is terrified of losing its grip.

This isn’t a man-bashing post. I’m married to one I adore, and I have a brilliant step son. I’d say both are feminists (because yes, I am one of those people who believes men can be feminists - I mean, just look at Kurt Cobain. RIP).

But this *is* a post that acknowledges the fact that there is still a boys’ club culture in many workplaces. A culture that rewards and promotes women who toe the line, and demonise or bully those who refuse to play ball.

From what I can understand from the brilliant authors whose books I’ve recently read (namely Stacey Halls and Naomi Kelsey - links below), witches were women who had a skill for helping people. They studied natural remedies and provided midwifery.

However, as science was evolving, and money was there to be made, the powers that be (the patriarchy), didn’t like this threat. It was inconvenient. It fucked with their plans.

And so tales of evil and devil worshipping spread like wildfire. To stop the women who were already healing and treating and caring for others - and to terrify anyone who dared consider following in their footsteps.

Photo by Mallory Johndrow on Unsplash

They were doing their own thing. Something they believed in. Regardless of the risk.

Of course, the women who ‘knew their place’ were perfectly safe. Those who kept quiet, conformed to the idea of how women ‘should’ behave and refused to dream of a different world.

In today’s society, particularly in the workplace, there has been a move towards gender equality. There’s been definite improvements. However, I sometimes wonder what price those senior positions and promotions come at. From what I’ve seen, in some cases, women are able to rise to senior leadership roles if they behave in a way that is expected of them.

If they nod their head and politely agree.

I’m not saying this is generally the case - but it definitely still happens. I’m also not criticising any woman who has the opportunity to step up the ladder as long as they keep the status quo. At least then they might get to have some influence.

At least then they get to enjoy job security and, where appropriate, provide for their families.

But what about those women who do rock the boat? The women who struggle to stay quiet when they hear injustice? The women who are sometimes argumentative and loud and flawed? Women who are driven to make a name for themselves?

What about those women?

I’m going to use a favourite example of mine here to illustrate the point. Courtney Love.

Courtney couldn’t possibly have achieved what she did without her husband

Courtney couldn’t possibly have possessed the creative talent required to write those brilliant songs.

Courtney must have killed Kurt.

Courtney, basically, is demonised as a witch. And still is. She had some kind of evil power over the man in her life. And she used it to steal his talent and his last breath.

If you look back to a couple of decades before Kurt’s death, we can see a similar approach to Nancy Spungen. One tabloid newspaper led with the headline ‘Nancy is a witch.’

This is a woman who was found dead in the Chelsea Hotel at just 20 years of age with a stab wound to her stomach. It was 1978 and this was a very young woman who had lived a very challenging and tragically short life (which I wont go into here, but if you’re interested, read And I Don’t Want to Live This Life by Deborah Spungen).

But she was loud, flawed and vulnerable. And this combination terrifies some men.

Which brings us away from the controversy of punk rock and back to modern day workplaces.

I’ve experienced bullying in the workplace. I’ve heard of, and spoken with, many other women going through similar experiences. And I think we have a lot in common…starting with the fact that we’re not keen to conform.

I’m not trying to paint myself as being the best at what I do, or the most honourable justice warrior. I’m also not the most flawed or vulnerable person to exist on an office floor. But I do possess elements of all of these things and, together, they’re a bit of an uncertain proposition for some male leaders.

They can’t predict how you’re going to behave and they know they can’t count on your silence whenever they want it.

It’s not how women are expected to behave.

But there’s one thing they can do to stop you from persisting. They can abuse their power - and target your vulnerabilities.

Whether it’s a woman going on maternity leave, experiencing the ups and downs of menopause or living with a mental health problem, there is often something that can be exploited to make their removal easier. I know in my case, it was my mental health that brought me to my knees - and the bullying that kept me there until I decided to give in and walk away.

I’m just glad I didn’t walk away quietly. I put up a good fight even though I was at the end of my tether. It took a lot of effort, medication and therapy.

Sadly, though, my NDA means there’s not too much more that I can say in this post - other than that the blokes in question were pathetic little wank-stains who have since gone on to treat other women in a similar manner.

It’s all about extinguishing the threat. And it might be done with NDAs and settlement agreements and P45s rather than burnings and drownings, but it all comes from the same place: a fear of women who refuse to, or can’t, conform to a patriarchal society. Back in the days, we would probably have been either tried as a witch or thrown into an asylum.

But it’s not then it’s now. And today, our hex is our writing, our campaigning, our refusal to stay quiet. It might not be magic, but it’s powerful and potent when we come together and support each other. And we do need to lift each other - we need to be there for all the witches (appreciative nod to Emma Watson there).

If you want to delve into some historical fiction, I can highly recommend The Familiars by Stacey Halls and The Burnings by Naomi Kelsey.

And if you want to make a stand, you could always start with shouting it loudly and proudly from a t-shirt. I absolutely LOVE (and no, they aren’t sponsoring this post) The Spark Company - check out their range of amazing tees or grab a few mugs for the office sporting slogans like ‘Well behaved women seldom make history’ or ‘They can’t burn us all’.

But I think it has to be about making a stand in your own way - no matter how small. Not everyone is in a position to speak the truth. But even if we are all just quietly humming the same tune together, we can start to tackle the patriarchy.

And even if we are truly silenced, we can pledge to at least not to speak against the women who aren’t. That, in itself, is a huge step forward.